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How to sell Keir Starmer’s Labour to the ‘red wall’ voters that deserted them over his Brexit wheezes? Quite a conundrum for the spin doctors. It doesn’t help that Starmer like most contemporary politicians has no discernable principles beyond his own advancement.
Picture the scene as Starmer’s team met to discuss slogans and strategy. Anxious to attract the endorsement of the Murdoch press, there was no chance of any collectivist slogans like ‘For The Many Not The Few’.
Corbyn’s internationalism, support for refugees, migrants, minority groups, Palestine, Yemen, nationalisation and tax-hikes for the super-rich were always an embarrassment to the Labour right so all that was out. They could hardly appeal to Starmer’s anti-establishment credentials or charisma – he is after all Tony Blair without the laughs.
As flip charts were scrunched in despair at Labour HQ and special advisors stared morosely at their phones, it became obvious that Starmer – a politically shapeless compound – has but one distinguishing feature… he isn’t Jeremy Corbyn.
Poof! Labour’s whole electoral strategy for the next four years appeared. They would sell Starmer as the anti-Corbyn and Labour would chase the Farage solution for transient popularity – jingoistic insular selfishness. There is a side-bar here about Starmer just standing next to Boris Johnson looking mildly less incompetent, which could be achieved just as easily by a dustbin in a suit or a chimpanzee in a frock – so he should be able to manage that.
The Guardian helpfully subtitled Starmer’s pitch to the online Labour conference just in case there was any doubt:
There you have it folks – Keir’s stirring message of hope and principle for the masses: it was all Corbyn’s fault and I am not Corbyn. That should have young activists queueing up to pound the doorsteps of Northampton and Derby!
The new Labour slogan that the Spad’s came up with (doubtless after many late night meetings) is ‘A New Leadership’ – which reflects all you’ve got from the party these days. Perhaps a more truthful slogan would have been better?
How about a proper inversion of the Corbyn era ‘For The Few Not The Many’ or perhaps ‘Lawyers For Lobbyists’ or maybe simply ‘Batting for Murdoch’.
Labour’s lurch to the right is proving to be just as vacuous as Starmer himself. He studiously avoids principle: from crime to climate change, from food banks to Black Lives Matter. Name the issue and Keir just looks a bit blank.
Something must fill this moral vacuum and Labour’s re-heated Priti Patel (Lisa Nandy) leads the way. Gushing with lowbrow populist zeal on Radio 4’s Today programme she expounded on the UKIP-isation of Labour:
“We stand up for Britain, we stand up for British people, we stand up for British interests and we will always put that first”
Nandy has learnt to blow the same dog whistles as Nigel Farage. Henceforth no moral principle will obstruct the pursuit of British exceptionalism and selfishness. If that means selling weapons to Saudi Arabia, fellating Israeli apartheid or supporting Donald Trump: as long as Britain gets a short-term material advantage, Starmer’s Labour will always put that first. It’s almost like they are Tories…
Starmer, perhaps sensing another buttress for his almost luminous lack of appeal, tried a Trumpian approach also in his conference speech:
“We love this country as you do. This is the country I grew up in and this is the country I will grow old in.”
Not exactly a unique sales pitch (even Corbyn could claim that) but beggars can’t be choosers – your MAGA hats (Make Amoral People Govern Again) will be available shortly.
New Labour has form for this of course. Their hero is a war criminal and part of their desperate scramble to defeat Corbyn was driven by the fear that he would expose where all of the Blair era bodies were buried: not to mention Jack Straw’s complicity with U.S. rendition (torture) flights.
Any hope that Labour would be a vehicle for social justice or a torch carrier for a new moral enlightenment has gone. The party is once again a clanging empty vessel with a dull eyed captain – desperately in search of any electoral cartography that will get them into Downing Street.
Not for nothing did we say months ago that nobody with any morals or self respect should remain in Labour – but even we didn’t envision just how bad it would get and how quickly.
But look, you can vote for Labour if you want – I understand the tribalism.
I also understand the argument that one must first compromise principle to gain power; then like a jobbing magician you can bring out your principles again, pulling them out of a hat like fake flowers at a children’s birthday party – TADA! We fooled you electorate, we DO have principles after all!
Trouble is, Keir Starmer doesn’t have any principles – after all, as he delights in telling the corporate media oft and over…
– he is not Jeremy Corbyn.
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Suitably scathing,and also accurate.