Owen Smith to agree with all Jeremys everywhere

As Owen Smith triumphantly moved into third place in the two horse race to be Labour leader – the crown jewel of his glittering array of policy announcements is to be expanded to meet demand.

Bored teenagers and people cadging free ice creams clapped slightly when Owen said repeatedly “I agree with Jeremy!”  and so this policy is to form the bedrock of all future strategy.

Owen unveiled his new campaign slogan this morning:

“It’s not enough for me to agree with Jeremy Corbyn. A single Jeremy, however popular, is still just one Jeremy – I am not satisfied with that. We need more Jeremys for me to agree with – in fact “I AGREE WITH ALL JEREMYS”

Journalists were briefed on just some of the new Jeremys that Owen Smith now agrees with:

• Jeremy Clarkson
• Jeremy Irons
• Jeremy Beadle
• Jeremy Fisher

• Jeremy Hunt (especially him)
• Jeremy Kyle
• Jeremy Paxman
• Jeremy Thorpe
• Jeremy Vine
• Jeremy Young

Owen was quick to denounce his opponent Jeremy Corbyn (who he also agrees with) for not agreeing with a broader base of Jeremys.

“Jeremy Corbyn only agrees with one Jeremy – himself. I condemn his lack of agreement with all the other Jeremys of this world. Labour must build a broad church in alignment with an ever expanding number of Jeremys. I have just been advised that someone not called Jeremy plays a character called Jeremy in something called The Vampire Diaries and let me say clearly and with passion – I agree with him“

Mr Smith also unveiled plans for a series of new Eco Villages to house an annual 8.5% expansion in the production of Jeremys for him to agree with.

Further Jeremy related policies include:

• All first born children to be called Jeremy, regardless of gender
• BBC’s “Question Time” to be rebranded “I agree with Jeremy Time”
• Swindon to be renamed Jeremy Town
• New national anthem to reflect the growing Jeremyisation of Britain – “God Save Jeremy”
• Owen Smith to change his name to Jeremy Corbyn.

Jeremy Corbyn (formerly Owen Smith) ended his press conference with a warning to the other Jeremy Corbyn:

“I agree with you about almost everything and if you should wake up tomorrow morning and change your mind then I will agree with that too. Nobody is going to out Jeremy me – I will flip flop and point my thumb in a sincere way in agreement with Jeremys everywhere. I will be the ultimate Jeremy Corbyn – the future of Labour.”