Blame the poor: OFFICIAL!

Its the new sport everybody is talking about! Blameball!

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First a quick bit of the history of BLAMEBALL.

Recently the Guardian asked people for the single word best describing “how or what you instinctively feel” about politics and politicians in general, 47% of respondents answered “angry”, against 25% who said they were chiefly “bored”. Only 2% said inspired and 64% said politicians never keep their promises anyway.

So the public are fed up with politicians of all colours – feeling the effects of austerity, losing interest in the antics at Westminster and showing worrying signs of identifying the actual culprits of the 2007/8 crash (bankers, financial deregulation, the city of London, neoliberal policies etc) and not just happily being poorer as rich people get richer.

It was time for something new – politics has been pretty low in the past but it must now stoop even lower to recapture (and indeed distract) the attention of the Great British public. 

Step forward BLAMEBALL!

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(i) Each team is made up of politicians and spin doctors.

(ii) Teams are differentiated by different colour ties and rosettes.

(iii) In the face of widespread voter apathy and the absence of any meaningful policy differences between the teams its up to BLAMEBALL to decide the winner of the next election.

(iv) Since all the teams are parties of neoliberal politics, no BLAME will be attached to big corporations, the wealthy, bankers or neoliberal policies generally.

(v) BLAME must be directed towards groups of people who don’t matter that much politically –

(vi) THE WHEEL OF BLAME.

Each team has a slightly different wheel that incorporates the other team as a target for blame – otherwise they are pretty much the same.

As you can see – the targets n the wheel of blame are all soft and vulnerable – they can’t afford to pay for lobbyists or make large donations to political parties or hire lawyers to defend their interests so they can be blamed and attacked with impunity.

(vii) On the other hand there are other groups of people in society who must never feature in BLAMEBALL – lets have a look at those excluded people who inhabit THE CIRCLE OF VIRTUE:

These people are to be deemed the ‘creators of wealth’ and therefore holy and beyond blame.

HOW TO PLAY BLAMEBALL

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The object of the game is to get as many DISTRACTING headlines in the media as possible while attaching BLAME to as many CATEGORIES of blame as possible – while making sure that groups in the CIRCLE OF VIRTUE are never ever mentioned.

e.g.

This story in today’s independent is classic BLAMEBALL. Pure genius!

Migrants will have to pay at A&E – and all patients will have to prove they are not foreigners to get free NHS treatment

Problems with A&E departments overcome because of the early failures of NHS privatisation ? √

Really the fault of neoliberal policies? √

LETS PLAY BLAMEBALL!!

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Spin that wheel NOW!

Lets imply that the REAL problem is because of:

Immigrants √

Sick people √

perhaps Disabled People √

people who talk funny who look like they might be immigrants √

THAT’S BLAMEBALL – triple points for the Tories! Bloody foreigners! Blame them!

Watch out for more updates on BLAMEBALL such as past spins of the wheel of blame and our favourite CASCADE BLAMEBALL where blame tumbles down from in high in a veritable waterfall of lies!

STAY CHOOOONEED!!!